Just frustrated cause I thought we actually got past this whole “I hate Carl”, “I’m only going to see Carl when I need him for something” bullshit. The whole “being used” vibe is starting to piss me off. No expectations, no disappointments. Just gotta remember that. 

Fuck, I don’t understand why you’re so hostile towards me. I just want to talk like normal people but you always find something to get pissed at me about. You almost do it on purpose just to have a reason to be mad at me. I get that I haven’t been the friendliest towards you and you still carry this massive animosity towards me, but I jfc. I can’t even talk to you without you getting mad at me for the most nonexistent of reasons. 

"Stop asking me how I feel about you"

What the fuck? I just wanted to know if we were cool or you were still pissed at me. Apparently it’s the latter cause otherwise you wouldn’t have blown up on me like that. What the fuck do I do? 

Five years is a lot to get over. I know I need to get over her, I don’t have a choice. I’m in love with someone who’s not in love with me. Would have been fine if I barely knew her, but we’ve been through so much. Sometimes I’m okay, but sometimes the depression will just kick in randomly throughout the day.